Winter No Longer Enchanting

It’s hard not be under winter’s spell when the first snow falls and suddenly the world outside your window is silent and deep, wearing only shades of pearl and diamond dust. I’m thrilled to see creation wrapped in all its frosty ethereal elegance until mid-January and then the bloom is off the rose. two old man winter_4c54f733cb735

Now I’m sick and tired of bitter winds, freezing temperatures, cold and flu season, frozen pipes, ice, potholes and most particularly shoveling snow which has been somewhat hazardous to my health.

So far, it’s just been a few muscle aches and strains and some minor cuts to my hands, but if winter continues and my sense of melodrama heightens, I fear I may have to collapse a lung to show my pure disdain for the job.

Make no mistake, shoveling has not been the only thing that has caused me to become disillusioned with winter.  The vice-grip hold of the “polar vortex” has been equally responsible.  Most of the time I can’t feel my limbs and I’m pretty sure I froze my left {redacted} off.  Hypothermia has also severely limited my ability to think and move which explains why I’ve put on enough winter weight to shame a black bear and my lax attitude toward blogging.

In addition,  I can now sand the finish off my furniture with my bare feet and hands, not to mention, the static in my hair could generate enough electricity to power my whole town for at least a month.

The final straw occurred this morning when I woke to my nose spraying blood like a high-pressure fire hose.  I’ve never had a nosebleed in my life and the mess it left was truly impressive.

It’s official.  I am totally over winter!

Spring will come once mother-nature gets tired of her dalliance with old man winter, but just when I think it’s over between them, they start it up again!  Come on mother-nature, just let him go already! You’ll see him again next year, I promise.  I’m sure by that time, I’ll have forgotten how annoyed I am with him and I’ll be looking forward to his return as well. (Okay, I’m not actually sure at this point, but it could happen.)


10 thoughts on “Winter No Longer Enchanting

  1. Sounds like you live in my hometown!

    I’m from Idaho, so I normally love the cold, but I agree with you. Let’s get this over with already . . .

    • I’m dancing around the house singing “LET IT GO” at the top of my lungs. I hope winter can take a hint!

  2. Anytime I feel tired of the weather, I try to read some seasonal poetry to remind myself of the beauty of each time of year. That said, COME ON, SPRING!

  3. You have echoed my sentiments exactly! Winter-GO! No, we will NOT miss you …UNCLE already!

    • Ai yi yi! This goes down in my book as one of the worst winters I’ve ever experienced.

  4. Shakespeare, in “Richard III” (‘the winter of our discontent’ and all) and in “A Winter’s Tale,” did not wax nearly so eloquently and disdainfully about winter as you! I get the awful picture all too clearly. Sandpaper hands, electrified hair and bear-belly gut–plain YUCK!

    Spring will be such a blessing for you and for everyone else in the grip of cold. May I send you visions of blue skies and golden daffodils fluttering and dancing in a warm breeze? Here in Victoria, showers are busily nourishing the soil and green abounds.

    Take care. It can’t be too much longer for you. Soon.

    • Ah yes! “Now is the winter of our discontent. Made glorious summer by this son of York.” This has truly been the winter of my discontent. Next year I’m giving a Winter of my Disco Tent party. That should prove hilarious.

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